A friend with benefits involves two people yearning to fulfill their desire for sexual pleasure minus the boyfriend-girlfriend label. This is until one falls for the other, the friendship is blown into pieces, and the two are worse off than before. Awkwardness escalates and, at times, can destroy cliques of friends. On the other hand, the term exists for a reason. Somewhere someone religiously practices this act and is successful. Otherwise, the phrase would be obsolete. Can you really blame someone for wishing to fulfill a natural urge while exploring the single life? Atleast they’re sexually exclusive. Is it really possible to have casual sex without emotional attachment? Are both members always aware of the terms and stipulations present in this friendship? Could monogamy be a thing of the past? Is it imperative to make a sexual connection before dating?
Boozing leads to flirting, and then to sleep overs that don’t require mom’s permission, if you know what I mean. If these sleepovers remain consistent, minus the booze, one may have discovered something. For E, four months of friendship sleepovers proved to pay off. Her and her sleepover man are still going strong after more than a year, along with the addition of the relationship title.
M. ‘s man was in search of new and exciting benefits when he decided to land her. He had caught himself in quite a turmoil tangled up with a few girls pleading for his heart. But the young man quickly decided to properly initiate a friendship and relationship with M. which later screamed beneficial.
S. is entering into a new “friendship” with a moy (a man boy), he plans on venturing north to Mt. P. next weekend. She’s thinking, be mine valentine, wish her luck!
This week A questioned, “Why can’t you just like someone and be liked in return, I’m not looking for a relationship.” A received benefits from one man for 5 years during her past relationship. She is new on the market and wants to experiment. However, she is quickly remembering the stupidity of the male behavior and in turn is giving them a taste of their own medicine. Nevertheless, she has enjoyed the friends with benefits package.
As J puts it, she’s searching for a cuddle buddy. J’s life is extremely busy and hectic at times but she always desires the benefits. Currently, she is the one initating the action with her new interest, and questions his shyness. Stereotypically, guys always want the action, but it’s not true, girls crave intimacy also.
As for me, I have experienced this the hard way. Getting physically close with a friend is enticing but also proves to be challenging. When friends find out and try to further the relationship, all goes south. Six years of an on and off benefits relationship from high school is not worth it when it still haunts you. Basically, it was fun at the time.
Do some relationships start as friends with benefits and build? Proves true for some. Scandalous, Mushy, or Complicated for others.
Whatever it may be, in the end, everyone wants to reap the benefits.
Stephanie Said:
on February 10, 2009 at 2:27 am
I really enjoy your blog. I like how you live with girls from different backgrounds and everything. Good luck with the fellas! I know I’m pulling for you.
betsyrau Said:
on February 12, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I love the definition–a friend with benefits. I try to put myself back in the college single life situation and I can’t imagine it. I’d be pushing for the relationship. Guess like you said, it’s not for everyone. By the way, do you check your dashboard to see how many people are reading your blog? I’d be interested in knowing.